Positivity Training Part 3

Positivity Training Part 3 (part 2 of 2) continued...

If you missed part 2 you can get it HERE, also included in part 2 was link to part 1 and links to my other blog pages that focus on positive outcomes that are not part of this series.

Note from Erin: As we dive deeper into this and my other posts I noticed we are getting into deeper subjects. Some of these ideas come from my experience with friends in these areas. If anyone has a question or wants me to address an issue I'll be more then happy to blog about it. I encourage people to do this as it is possible others may have similar circumstance!

When last time we looked at positivity training...

In part 2 we began looking at what we can do for today when the past has influenced us. In part 3 we will continue looking at how our past shapes us today and being aware of how we have become shaped we can work on changes for the positive.

My family raised me to only like those who were like us. Don't mingle with those who were a different race, etc.

This is a big one here in the south. I didn't see this heavily until I left the Disney workplace and lived farther north. The farther from the tourist or even bigger city places I went- or coworkers visited- the more you hear appalling stories and see some rather...scary... people. It's not just the south, but all across the states in one form or fashion. 

Hate is not inherited by birth. Hate and discrimination are taught through our parent and caregivers.  No matter what culture or race you grew up as, the only way to think less of others is upbringing. Sometimes it's culturally driven, other times it's a skewed extreme religious view. Generality is 99% incorrect. Yes, people fit stereotypes sometimes, but there are those that break the "mold" constantly of those.

What if you are this person? While this is a harder subject the first thing I say to you is look at those you think are inferior in some way. Those people are just that- people. They all bleed red, are capable of great things, intelligent beings, have feelings just like you or me. Spiritually we are all the same. We all are trying to make it through life, find a purpose. Biologically all races share 99.8 percent of the human genes and roots of all people are traced to tribes that originated in Africa roughly 6 million years ago. Changes to race are only adaptations of areas (through mutations and survival) over thousands of years due to climate. I could go on forever about biology but might I digress... People of all types- race, culture, religions, creeds, etc. are all capable of such great things. I may elaborate in a separate blog soon. Look inward. Is treating those who have done no wrong to you or others deserving of such animosity? Will your differences toward others because of this make you the better person?

When we grew up we had the best of everything. I refuse to have it any less as an adult.

I know this seems silly, and by all rights, if you have worked hard and have the funds you should do as you please and give yourself those things. But you are not entitled to such things in life. When you are use to life a certain way you sort of expect these things. Hand outs. Treatment. That's not how it works in real life. People as bosses and in professional areas don't care. They care that you are doing your work, being productive, making the focus of business just that so that at the end of the day they make budgets. Not your problem, you say? In the work place it truly is. It all starts from the bottom of the chain.

What if you are this person? First off, things are just things. Sometimes we hit rock bottom or hard patches where we have to make cuts to our normal lives. This can be cutting back or having no entertainment spending for a while, buying all store brand or off brand for a while, even just making do with what we already have. The newer generations think they are entitled to special things and treatment because the parents always gave them these things. The world is not made up of getting your way just because you say so. There is no real instant gratification. You DO have to work to get things, to get respect and to live close to how you would like. Know that everyone is trying to get by- just like you. Spend wisely and you can get the things you want if you are smart about it. And if you need help, never be afraid to look into assistance.

We never worried about "healthy" food. We ate because we had to.

This isn't a deep subject, but it does seem to spawn from roots of home. My parents didn't always have a lot of money and we couldn't get assistance. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. While we ate and were fed well, there was a lot of pasta side dishes, processed side dishes and hot dogs. For some families, fast food- while expensive in the long run- was the way to go for convenience. With busy families, fast food continues to dominate. Processed foods are cheap. Some deeper subjects on food include some who ate for comfort in hard home situations, causing a bad habit stemmed from growing up.

What if you are this person? You have the choice when you get out in the world to make decisions that separate you from bad habits at home. Your habits also effect any children you have. For one, it is cheaper to cook your own food then running to fast food. In moderation, you can still buy processed foods and still live a relatively healthier life with your meals. Smaller portions will not only save money and stretch budgets farther, but it's better for the body. This way you can afford fresher foods. Cooking things mostly from scratch can save on salts and fats then always doing processed. Having large amounts of veggies along pasta will stretch cheaper meals since pasta is very cheap and very filling. For the busy parent, look into crock pot meals that are cheap and can be made ahead of time and frozen- just as good heated in the oven so you don't go out and spend on more food or fast food. If you eat for comfort, knowing you do is the first step to diet change. Keep healthy snacks around and ditch junk food so you won't be tempted by these. There is a lot more information and options out there for families to be healthier in their eating. If for nothing else, think about the money you will save with smaller portions and health care of the family!

Just because we grew up a certain way with negative habits doesn't mean we can't change those to be better. We should be proud of heritage and who we are. The values we took. The things we learned. But if we took the wrong parts from our growing up, then what have we really learned as we became a person of our own?

Positivity Training Part 2

Positivity Training Part 2

In this short series we will explore more on things you can do to make your perspective a more positive one. If you missed part 1, please visit it HERE. 

Of course, many of the blogs I have written go hand in hand with positivity training as a whole. We focused on Looking for the good things, learning that Health may lead to a happier you, even Stress management tips along with a page dedicated to Meditation ideas. 

Lastly, my latest blog before this was a deeper subject, Changing things about yourself that usually impact not only yourself, but those around you.

Helping Yourself for Today

We all have problems, vices, things that effect us greatly. How about your past? 

I have met a bunch of people that claim that things in their past is who they are today and nothing will change that. We all have met those people, perhaps we are those people.

Our past does make up who we are: our experiences and how we have reacted has shaped our character, our thoughts even our beliefs. But what if we aren't happy or have had a positive outcome? How do we change this?

Let's look at some examples.

People who act apprehensive toward others or negative aren't really happy.

At the core, being a "bitch" or an "asshole" doesn't reflect happiness and surely doesn't bring about positive energy to those around. You will hear it again and again that these people are happy with themselves or they don't care. It's typically a power struggle within themselves that they must feel worthy of anything to bring others down to their level or to see others hurt. This is NOT happy nor positive. 

What if you are this person? Look inside yourself. Bring compassion and empathy to your situations. Reflect on how these people reacted and even looked. Did you see pain? Did they lash out to defend themselves? How did you feel when people have done the same to you? Maybe it was your home life that grew you into a bully, perhaps a parent didn't show you love and warmth. You know the source, why be the same? This is not who you have to be now, and the choice is truly yours.

I have to steal because that's how we always got by when growing up.

I met people like this a few years ago, even living in nice places. Stealing, whether from a store or a place of residence effects others. Prices in stores compensate for lost merchandise, making it harder for everyone. In a residence area perhaps taking things hurts the people as it was a gift or something they saved for- but they worked for. People who steal do it for many reasons. Needing money, money for drugs, taking nice things for themselves, not having funds for stuff they want and want a better life. People who steal have deep issues both with money and value, especially when they see benefit for themselves without regard to others.

What if you are this person? Times are hard and sometimes our values can be confused. If we did this or saw our parents do this chances are they were also involved in subjects that made hard times even harder. There are plenty of "good" ways to make money even if it takes some extra work. If it's the thrill there are certainly other safe "thrills" that aren't illegal or hurt others. 

My relationships are always bad or I have a habit of hurting others because of my parent's love life.

We all learn how to treat others in a relationship based on what we saw growing up. The biggest problem is that we know and realize it was wrong if it was. Maybe it's abusive. Maybe your not truthful or monogamous. Perhaps you get with people who treat you badly because you ignore what will actually make you happy instead of focusing on a false feeling of love. These problems are often complex in nature.

What if you are this person? First, we do not have to live the same life as those before us. Instead, we are suppose to learn from our elders mistakes. This shows substantial growth and intelligence. If you are abusive know that a relationship is a mutual thing. There should not be dominance or struggle of power. Both sides are equal. If you are not faithful then look within yourself. What aren't you happy with? Is it the person your with, the relationship, or do you feel you need to fill yourself with attraction from others? Perhaps if you want this lifestyle then being together with a person in a relationship is not for you. Even not having a solid relationship and being promiscuous has it's roots in issues from a young age. Typically a lack of attention from the parents. I have found not many people- especially young people- ever actually happy like this.

Part 3 of Positivity training with the continuation of this will be posted next week.

If you aren't happy you have the power to change.